It took just a couple of days to figure out that even though the speed limit was 50 kmph, the lights were set to 55 kmph. If you set the cruise control on 55, you would catch every light perfectly. If one car was on the road in front of you, you could change lanes. If three cars were on the road in front of you, you had to slow to what ever speed they were going. Then you hit red light after red light. The streets were 4th ave, a one way going west, 5th Ave a one way going east, 6th ave a one way going west.
I was driving every morning to the office, and it took me 25 minutes, then covid hit, and I had the streets to myself.
Saving me almost an hour. But again, you save almost no time, if you have to slow down behind cars.
Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support.
I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized.
he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that.
he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened.
he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence.
i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me
i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction.
after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly.
things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it.
we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe …
our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far?
this has upset me so much its hard to even function.
If I set my cruise control to 112 kmph, it takes 7 hours 20 minutes driving time, and the total drive is a minimum 8 hours and 20 minutes.
The reason that this is important to me is that my wife has post concussion syndrome, and gets violently ill, if she rides in a car after dark. She stays ill for a couple of days after.
But, if I set the cruise control 12 km faster, we have more than an extra month, when we can visit her mother.
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This made it hard to synchronize the lights. But 55 kmph was the sweet spot. I had 6 weeks of 8 minute commutes. It was amazing how few cars it took, to make you hit every red light. So it crept up to 15 minutes, after 6 weeks, and 20 minutes after 10 weeks.
I drive to my mother in laws three times a year, its 825 km, of deserted two lane black top. If I drive at 100 kmph, it takes 8 hours and 15 minutes driving time, plus 15 minutes stop at a gas station, and a 15 minute stop at a fast food place, plus two 15 minute stops to let my dogs run in the field. Making the drive a minimum 9 hours and 15 minutes.
It really depends on traffic conditions, I find that driving in the city with traffic lights, you can make really great time.
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On Dec 21, just before Christmas, where I live the sun rises at 8:43 and sets at 4:25 , we only have 7 hours and 42 minutes daylight. So we can't visit her mom for Christmas, and doing 100 kmph we can't visit her mother between Nov 5 and Feb 5. That's assuming, no delays, and that we are packed and ready to go at Sunrise. That never happens, we are always a half hour late, or have a delay on the road.
So essentially it means that we can't visit her mother from Canadian Thanksgiving, until about February 20th.
Of course even if you ignore the 12 minutes I sat at lights, I never really managed 50 kmph. Because when you are accelerating from lights, and only going a block before you have to stop, you are only going the speed limit for a few meters.
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A 10 percent increase in the maximum speed I drive, cuts commute time from 25 minutes in normal traffic to 8 minutes, on deserted streets.
